A Beautiful Lie
by redsandman99
Summary: Jeff and Adam seemingly have the perfect relationship. A secret though, is threatening to blow up in Adam's face and ruin the life they've built together.
1. Chapter 1

Adam hummed under his breath as he gathered up the grocery bags from the trunk of the car, trying to make sure he got everything this first time so he wouldn't have to make two trips in and out. Wednesday was grocery day, making it his least favorite day of the week. It usually wasn't as bad if Jeff went with him to help take the load but unfortunately for him, Jeff hadn't come along today. He had stayed home from work with a nasty head cold that may or may not have turned into a sinus infection. Adam wanted Jeff to go to the doctor to make sure but of course, Jeff being the stubborn man that he was, had so far refused to go. It was maddening how stubborn he was but Adam was about as stubborn as he was and he was determined to get him to the doctor somehow. He was thinking about bribing him in sexual favors to get him to go. When all else failed, that usually did the trick.

He managed to get all the groceries in his hands at once, making it so he had to awkwardly close the trunk with his elbow before carefully heading toward the house. He kept imagining himself tripping and falling, sending the groceries everywhere and making his entire trip a waste of time. Thankfully though, he managed to stay on his feet. He even felt a sense of triumph as he stepped up to the front door. That triumph died though when he realized he didn't have a free hand to reach into his pocket and take out his keys so he could get into the house. "Shit." He sighed and reluctantly set the groceries down on the ground before opening the screen door and reaching into his pocket to get the keys back out. He unlocked the door and pushed it open, leaving the keys in the lock for the moment in favor of bending back down and carefully gathering the groceries back up. It seemed harder this second time around but he managed to get them, quickly stepping into the house and letting the screen door slam behind him. Jack, their Jack Russell terrier, barked loudly and came running, his tail wagging a million miles a minute when he saw that it was Adam.

"Easy boy," Adam said, trying to step around him so he wouldn't trip and fall on his face. "I'll be with you in a minute."

"You know, I'll never understand you loading yourself up like this," Jeff said as he came out of the kitchen. His voice sounded more nasal from all the congestion in his head and he looked completely exhausted. "A second trip wouldn't kill you."

"No but-no no no I got it I got it." Adam tried to step away from Jeff but got the milk, a twelve pack of Mountain Dew and a two bags taken from him anyway. "You're SICK you don't have to do that."

"If I don't you'll be going back to the store and I would have been here cleaning up the mess," Jeff replied. He set the bags and the twelve pack on the table and put the milk in the fridge.

"I would have cleaned it up," Adam said, following him and putting the bags he had left on the table. "And why are you up? You're supposed to be sleeping."

"Needed some medicine," Jeff told him, nodding towards the bottle of Dayquil that was sitting on the counter. "And I was hoping you were back with the soup." He began looking through the bags, pulling out the can of chicken noodle soup and nodding happily. "Sweet."

"I can make it for you," Adam offered. "You don't have to-"

"I got it," Jeff assured him, already getting the saucepan out.

"But-"

"Adam! I got it." Jeff put the pan on the stove and grabbed the can so he could pull on the tab to open it. "It's fine. I'm not like you and need to be waited on hand and foot when I'm sick. I got it, alright?"

"Fine." Reluctantly Adam let Jeff be and started putting away the rest of the groceries. He knew Jeff didn't like to be babied but he couldn't help himself sometimes. He couldn't actually make Jeff better so he was totally trying to overcompensate. Bad habit really, one he possibly picked up from Jeff's brother Matt…though according to his best friend Jay, he had done it when they were kids too so maybe not. Maybe it was just a character flaw.

"Addy?" Jeff's pet name for him broke through his thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Can you feed Jack?"

Adam glanced down that the dog, smiling as he stood up on his back paws and danced around in anticipation for the food. "Sure." He patted Jack on the head before heading to the pantry to grab the bag. The house they were in had been designed and built by Jeff and Matt and Adam moved in five and a half years ago, six months after he and Jeff started dating. They had met through Matt and Jay, who had been dating at the time. That relationship died about four years ago and now Matt was dating Evan Bourne and Jay had just gotten out of a relationship with Heath Slater and was seemingly getting back with his ex-boyfriend AJ Styles. Though who knew with him. He rotated boyfriends like crazy. He was getting to be worse than Matt before he settled down with Evan.

"Randy called," Jeff said, not even glancing over at Adam as he said this. "He was wanting to talk to you so I told him you would call him back."

"Oh. Okay." While he was able to keep his voice completely casual his spine was involuntarily snapping. Randy was a mutal friend of theirs. They had both worked at Rob Van Dam's old comic book store (which was now run by Adam himself because Rob moved to Jamaica with his wife Sonya) together for a short while, though Randy quickly moved on to other things. A friendship was struck between them though in that short while and Randy quickly made himself at home in his circle of friends. There was admittedly some tension at first, given the fact that Randy had a volatile temper and barely any self control though these days he had mellowed out quite a bit. Everyone attributed that to his boyfriend John Cena and on the surface, they had about as perfect of a relationship two people could have. The key words though, were just that: on the surface.

Adam made sure Jack started eating before placing a kiss on the back of Jeff's neck as he headed out of the room. "I'll be back." He snatched up the phone and headed upstairs with it so he could make the call in private. He had a feeling about what Adam wanted and didn't want Jeff overhearing any of it.

"Come on come on…" Adam shut himself in one of the guest bedrooms and started pacing around, dialing the number and then waiting for what seemed like forever for an answer.

"Hello?"

"It's me."

"Hey babe." Randy's tone perked right up at the sound of the blonde's voice.

"Don't call me that," Adam hissed, giving a quick paranoid glance towards the door.

"Why not? Jeff in the room with you?"

"No. I wouldn't have called you back if he was." Adam bit at his thumbnail, unable to stop his pacing all around the room. "Why did you call here? I thought that we agreed that you wouldn't ever do that."

"Your cell phone went straight to voicemail. How else was I supposed to get a hold of you?"

"Try not even bothering."

Randy chuckled even though Adam wasn't joking in the slightest bit. "Come on babe, don't be like that."

"Just tell me what you want Randy." Adam was starting to lose his patience and regret calling him back. He should have just ignored him. It was never a good idea to engage with Randy. He should have known better at this point.

"I want to see you."

Adam bit his lip, not surprised yet not happy to actually hear that. "No."

"Why?"

"Jeff's sick. I gotta be here for him."

"Why? Do you have to hold his hand and tell him everything will be okay?"

"Oh shut up. Don't you even mock me. Just because I give a shit when my boyfriend isn't feeling well-"

"Alright alright don't even START with your hissy fit." Randy was surely rolling his eyes, even though Adam couldn't see him. "I just want to see you alright? It's been three days. I miss you."

"Randy no. Look, I told you we couldn't do this anymore." Adam was trying to be assertive but he felt himself weakening already. He was damning himself and Randy for having this power over him. This whole situation was a mess. Eight fucking months this had been going on. And nobody knew but the two of them. Not Jeff, not John, not Jay, nobody. Nobody had caught on to the fact that they had been sleeping each other.

"I know you did," Randy said in exasperation "But you don't mean it."

"Fuck you, you don't know what I mean."

"Oh I do." Randy sounded so damn smug that Adam wanted to just reach in through the phone and rip him out so he could slap the shit out of him. "I really do. I know how you work Adam."

"I'm hanging up," Adam informed him. "I'm not talking to you about-"

"You're going to crave me." The sureness in Randy's voice made Adam not follow through on his hanging up declaration. "You don't want to admit it but you will. You always do. And when you do…you'll know where I'll be." Chuckling lightly, Randy hung up the phone, leaving Adam to just stand there with an open mouth, his protest dead in his throat. Forcing his mouth to close, he swallowed hard and hung up the phone, nearly dropping it as he ran his hand through his hair. He really shouldn't have called Randy back. Why did he keep doing this? He was risking his relationship with Jeff just to fuck Orton. Jeff, who was the best thing to ever happen to him, was unaware of every dirty little thing that was being done behind his back.

Adam wanted to stop. He did. He felt horrible for what he was doing. He loved Jeff deeply he hadn't started this to hurt him. When it began, they were fighting, going through one of the most rocky patches they had ever gone through. Adam felt unappreciated, unloved…and Randy had wanted him. Randy had made him feel wanted and one thing had led to another…now he just couldn't quit. He and Jeff had patched things up and were strong once again yet still, he couldn't quit Randy. He knew he had to but some irrational, animalistic part of him wouldn't let him go. Maybe Randy was right. Maybe he did crave him.

_No….no no no._ Adam shook his head as he told himself that. _Fuck him he can't be right. I won't give in. I won't._ He nodded to affirm that to himself but even as he did, it felt like a hollow promise. He knew in his heart that he would indeed give in. It was only a matter of time.


	2. Chapter 2

"I told you that I didn't need to go to the doctor," Jeff said somewhat smugly two days later. He had gotten better on his own and was now enjoying his health by being outside and working on a painting. Adam was with him, watching him shake up the cans of spray paint that he had gotten out and looking at the canvas that was still blank for the moment. They both had on hoodies to try to keep them warm though Adam found the nearly frigid breeze going right through his. Jeff didn't seem too bothered though. He had insisted on being out here to do this, despite the risk of making himself sick again. Sometimes when he painted in the garage the fumes from the paint made him feel really light headed and the snow from the last storm had managed to melt, so there wasn't much stopping them from being out there.

"You know, there's only so many times you get to say "I told you so". I think at this point you've crossed the line into being obnoxious." Adam shifted his weight to his other foot and looked around. Their house, for all accounts, was pretty much in the middle of nowhere. Jeff liked it better that way and while Adam thought he would hate it, he actually found that he enjoyed it. It was peaceful being out here. No noisy neighbors, no traffic…beyond the crickets that got crazy annoying in the summer it was perfect. Sure going into the city could be a pain in the ass but it was a pain in the ass that was worth it."

"At least I don't have a little dance like you and Jay do," Jeff shot back. "If we're going to talk about being obnoxious, you're the last person who should be speaking. You're the pot calling my kettle black."

"Oh shut up," Adam replied, his cheeks flushing slightly because he knew Jeff was right. "It's not even about me and Jay right now. It's about you.." He pouted as Jeff opted to try to start his painting rather than engage in this argument. "Sooo don't even try to make it about me." He waited again, pouting even more when he wasn't engaged. "What are you planning on making?"

Jeff shrugged. "I don't know. I'll figure it out as I go."

"Oh." Adam glanced around, smiling faintly when he saw Jack watching them from the window. "You know, I'm kind of surprised that this was the first thing you chose to do once you were better." He rocked side to side lightly, his tone becoming a lot more flirtatious. "I would have thought you would have wanted something else?"

"Like what?" Jeff asked without even looking his way. He was too into his painting and it was driving Adam insane.

"Ohhh something very special. Something you didn't want to do in case you made me sick." It was obvious what Adam was talking about; he had all but said it. They hadn't had sex in forever. Okay, it wasn't forever but to Adam? It sure as hell felt like it. He had jacked off at night to try to keep himself satisfied but it wasn't the same.

"Ahhh." Jeff's face filled with understanding and he finally looked over at Adam. "Right. We gotta do a trash fire tonight. Thanks babe for-"

"No!" Adam stamped his foot and balled up his fists in frustration. "You're supposed to ravish me you IDIOT!" He turned on his heel and tried to storm off when Jeff burst out laughing and snagged him by his wrists to stop him.

"I was JOKING Addy." Jeff wrapped his arm around Adam's waist and made him turn to look at him. "It was a joke. Don't get your panties in a twist."

"It wasn't a funny," Adam said as he tried to turn out of Jeff's grip. "Comedy is NOT your strong suit. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Jeff smirked. "Oh come on. Don't get mean now." He tightened his grip on Adam and put on his best puppy dog face. "There's no need for that."

Adam poked his index finger into Jeff's chest. "Hey! I'm the master of the puppy dog face. Don't you even try that shit with me."

Jeff snorted. "You wish you were the master of the puppy dog face. I'M the master of it."

"Are not."

"Are too."

"Are not."

"Are-hey!" Adam jumped a bit as Jeff's cold hands slid not under his hoodie but his shirt as well. He tried to take a step back but Jeff's lips on his made him stop in his tracks. He briefly considered trying to keep up his fight but once Jeff's tongue began to probe at his lips, he gave in and started kissing back.

"That's more like it…" Jeff back Adam up against the nearest tree, his cold hands quickly warming up as they continued to explore Adam's body. Adam moaned into Jeff's mouth and arched his groin into Jeff's, grinding into him shamelessly. Jeff moaned and grinded as well, both their cocks straining to get out of their jeans.

"Fuck me," Adam gasped, his hands hurrying to undo Jeff's jeans.

"I don't have anything," Jeff told him, his own hands working on Adam's jeans. His hand slipped down them once he got them unbuttoned, his hand gripping the base of Adam's cock so he could start stroking slowly. "We should go inside so I can get-"

"Don't need lube," Adam said dismissively. "Shouldn't that be what my mouth is for?"

Jeff's eyebrows rose up at that. "Dirty Addy." He kissed Adam again, sucking lightly on the blonde's lower lip. "Dirty dirty dirty boy." They kissed again, Adam starting to go down on to his knees when they were interrupted by the honking of a car horn.

"YO! What the hell are you guys doing? There's something called indecent exposure you know!"

Jeff and Adam rolled their eyes and looked over at Matt, who was standing by his car with a smug look on his face. Evan was getting out of the car and he looked mildly amused yet annoyed at the same time at Matt's rude interruption. "You couldn't have waited like twenty minutes?" Jeff asked irritably. He and Adam were hurriedly trying to fix their clothes, their faces flush from embarrassment. This was far from the first time they had gotten caught in the act yet somehow Matt managed to make them feel mortified each and every time.

"Today's game day dude," Matt replied in his defense. "I called you last night to remind you that we were coming since you were feeling better. Not our fault if you forgot."

Jeff rolled his eyes and grabbed Adam's hand so they could walk over there. Adam was internally cringing as he silently followed Jeff. He had forgotten game day too. Game day meant Jeff and Matt's friends would be over for forever and most likely get drunk. Normally Adam didn't really mind them since he was friendly (if not actually friends) with the lot of them but he didn't want them over today. He wanted it to just be him and Jeff. Whenever a whole bunch of people came over Adam felt like he faded into the background for Jeff. Everyone else became more important than him. Maybe that was silly and kind of selfish but it was the way he felt and with him still trying to fight the temptation to give in and go see Randy again, it was not a feeling he needed at the moment.

Of course, he couldn't confess this to anyone. Nobody knew about what was going on behind Jeff's back and they wouldn't be very understanding if they did. He was just going to have to try to stay strong on his own. He could do it. He really could. He just had to try.

…

He couldn't do this.

It was three hours later and in addition to Matt and Evan, they now had Shane Helms and his girlfriend Karen, Shannon Moore and his wife Julie, John Morrison (without his boyfriend Mike Mizian thank god), Kofi Kingston and Ron Killings all over as well. Adam was sitting in the room with them but he wasn't really there in any kind of mental capacity. He wasn't even sitting next to Jeff. Matt and Shannon had kidnapped him so he was sitting on the arm of the opposite couch, where Kofi, Ron and John were all at. Beer was flowing freely and with every drink that was had, everyone else was getting louder and more obnoxious. Shane was being the worst, yelling at the TV every time the other team was on the offense or the referee made a call he didn't like. John and Kofi were fighting over the nachos Julie had brought with her and Jeff and Matt were seemingly having some kind of elbowing war. Nobody was noticing that Adam was being so quiet. Nobody noticed that he clearly wasn't enjoying himself.

He didn't know why he kept feeling this way. This disconnect with not just Jeff but everything around him. Sometimes it just felt like boredom, other times like genuine unhappiness. He loved Jeff. He knew that. But the call of Randy enticed him and sometimes Jeff made it all the easier to go seek him out. It was wrong but sometimes-and just sometimes-it felt completely right. And the fact that it felt that way at all made him feel even worse about it.

Towards the end of the second quarter Adam slipped out of the room unnoticed and grabbed Jack's leash, getting him from the kitchen and taking him out back. He walked Jack a considerable distance from the house and took a cautionary glance back to make sure nobody had followed him before pulling out his cell phone and making the call he knew he would regret later.

"Hello?" Randy's voice could barely be heard above the background noise on his end. He must have been having his own game day party as well from the sounds of it.

"It's me." Adam sighed, already knowing that Randy was smirking on the other end. "I need to see you."

"When?"

"…Tonight." He knew he could get away. Jeff had already agreed to go out to Shannon's to continue the party.

"Be here at nine. I'll have everyone gone by then."

"Okay." They hung up at that and Adam sighed. He shouldn't have done that. But as much as he regretted it, there was a part of him that didn't. That part was excited that he was giving in. God he was sick. He needed help. Serious, serious help. But no help would be sought or had. He was just going to dig himself in deeper without the capacity to make himself stop.


	3. Chapter 3

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Jeff asked Adam. Everyone else had either left or were getting ready to leave so the party could continue but Adam had pulled Jeff aside so he could tell him he didn't feel like going. He had made sure to get Jeff alone because if any of the others heard him saying he didn't want to come, they would just try to talk him into doing it. And he wasn't sure how his excuses would hold up under everyone else's scrutiny.

"I'm sure," Adam replied. They were standing in the laundry room together, Adam sitting up on the washer and Jeff standing in between his legs. Adam's palms were resting on the edge of the washer and Jeff had his hands in his jacket pockets. "I'm just not feeling up for a party tonight. I won't be much fun if I tag along."

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Jeff was just asking to be nice. He had had a few beers and clearly wanted to go, so Adam damn well knew he was just asking to be nice. "I could stay you know I don't-"

"Go," Adam insisted. "You haven't hung out with Matt and them for awhile so go. Have fun."

"Okay." Jeff placed a quick kiss on Adam's lips before going back out to the living room to join the leaving Matt and Shannon. Adam waited a moment before hopping off the washer and going up the back staircase so he wouldn't have to deal with everyone else. He went into his and Jeff's room to grab a fresh set of clothes before going into the bathroom to take a shower. When he had come back inside from making the call to Randy a wrestling match had broken out in the living room between Shane and Kofi and they had fallen into Adam, who had been in the process of getting Jeff a beer. The beer had spilled all over him so now he absolutely reeked of it. That wasn't the way he wanted to go over to Randy's so now the shower was in order.

He stripped himself of his clothes and threw them in the hamper that was in there before stepping into the shower. He had the water on as hot as he could stand it and he just stood under it for a few minutes, enjoying the way it poured down on him. Then he grabbed the nearest rag and the soap so he could start washing himself up. It occurred to him that maybe Jeff could come home early and find that he wasn't there but he highly doubt that that would happen. Once Jeff got started, it was hard to reel him back in. He wasn't anywhere nearly as bad as he was when he was younger but there were times that the old party animal in him rose up in full force. And tonight, with what had been going on already, seemed like one of those times.

Once he was satisfied that he didn't smell of beer anymore he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. He toweled himself somewhat quickly, both wanting to just go see Randy already and not wanting to actually rush. If he rushed over that would just add fuel to Randy's fire, which wasn't needed. The younger man was an arrogant prick all on his own; if he knew that Adam actually wanted to see him so badly it would just make him worse.

He put on his plain gray t-shirt and blue jeans before leaving the bathroom and going back to his room to put on his socks and shoes. It was a quarter till nine-he might as well just leave now and take a roundabout route if he didn't want to arrive too soon. On his way to the door he made sure Jack had plenty of food and water and threw him a treat so he wouldn't bark at him as he left. The night air was getting chillier now and Adam almost went back inside to get himself a coat when he remembered that he had a hoodie in his car. He hightailed it there, getting to the somewhat warm relief that was the car and pulled the hoodie over his head before starting the vehicle.

The drive to Randy's was about a half hour given the fact he living almost in the heart of the city as opposed to the outskirts like Adam and Jeff did. He had his garage door open like usual and Adam was pleasantly surprised to see him sitting in there waiting for him to pull the car in. He always pulled the car in just in case anyone he knew came driving by. God forbid he got caught…

"Heya babe," Randy said. He got the garage door closed so Adam could get out of the car.

"I told you not to call me th-" Adam was cut off by Randy's lips meeting his. He froze for a split second before kissing back. Little things like this reminded him exactly why he kept coming back to Randy. Randy made him feel wanted. Made him feel needed. When it was just the two of them, the whole world fell away and it really was just the two of them. It used to be like that with Jeff. Not anymore though. The passion between him and Jeff was practically gone and he was the only one that noticed. Jeff was perfectly content with the life they had now. Them and Jack, though to Adam, he felt like he was just a part of the scenery for Jeff. He was just there, a means to pass the time when he wasn't painting or sculpting or singing with his band.

Randy's hands on his body broke Adam out of his thoughts. One of his hands was on the small of his back and the other was tangled in his hair. Adam moaned into his mouth and wrapped his arms around his tan neck. He had the differences between Jeff's and Randy's bodies down completely at this point. Randy was three inches taller (though still an inch shorter than Adam himself) and about twenty pounds heavier than Jeff was, all of which was muscle. He wasn't a crazy jacked up muscle head or anything like that; he was lean and stuff but he actually worked out, unlike Jeff who relied on his dirt biking and other extreme outdoor activities to keep him in shape-and even then he would sometimes have a slight pudge in his belly that Adam would label "cute" to tease him. Randy was also tan all year round, thanks to his friendship with tanning beds. Jeff usually tended to get paler in the winter unless he kept up with the spray tan. Randy also kept his hair either short or shaved, giving Adam nothing to pull on while they kissed. Admittedly he missed that since he was so used to it with Jeff…but he made do with digging his nails into the back of the younger man's neck instead.

"Come on," Randy said as they broke the kiss. "Let's go." He led Adam into the house, kicking the door that connected the hallway to the garage shut behind them as they went. Adam had no idea where Cena was and wasn't really planning on asking. He and Randy rarely asked these types of questions when they were together. They tended to be a mood killer and tended to just piss Randy off. That wasn't particularly something Adam wanted to deal with so his mouth was staying shut.

"Sorry about the mess…" Randy said as they went through the living room.

Adam snorted lightly. "No you're not."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because you say that every time and if you were actually sorry you would stop being such a fucking slob."

Randy chuckled at that. "Wow. Someone's got a dirty mouth." He turned back around and nipped at the blonde's lower lip playfully. "I think I know a good use for it…"

Adam knew damn well what Randy was implying and dropped down to his knees so he could undo his jeans. He pulled his cock out over the boxers and wrapped a hand around it, stroking it slowly at first and teasing the head with his tongue. Randy moaned and grabbed a hold of Adam's hair, barely resisting the urge to thrust into his mouth. Adam grabbed a hold of his hips to try to hold them in place so he wouldn't get choked by a sudden thrust and continued to tease the head. He circled his tongue around the head and probed the tip into the slit lightly before slowly taking more into his mouth. He ran his tongue up and down the underside of Randy's cock, playing with the vein that ran underneath it before deep throating him suddenly.

"Oh fuck yeah," Randy moaned, gripping the back of Adam's head more tightly. He was fighting to thrust into the blonde's mouths and finally managed to do so despite Adam's attempts to stop him. Adam gagged a bit but then forced his throat to relax so that he could keep sucking. His hands worked on getting rid of Randy's jeans and boxers the rest of the way off. Randy kicked them both away for him and his hands cupped Randy's balls, rolling them between his fingers and squeezing gently.

"That's it babe," Randy encouraged. "Fucking just like that." He kept thrusting into Adam's mouth, his movements getting quicker as he came closer to his orgasm. Adam responded by sucking harder and faster, gripping Randy's thighs and swallowing as his hot seed shot down his throat. The moment he was done he was ripped back up to his feet and kissed hard, Randy's hands working on stripping him of his clothes now. Adam slid Randy's shirt off to help the process and backed up to the couch, where he was playfully pushed up against the arm of it.

"Bend over baby," Randy whispered huskily. He was already reaching into the cushions to pull out the bottle of lube he had stashed there.

"You really hid that there?" Adam asked, unable to stop the wry smile that spread across his face as he bent over the arm of the couch. It wouldn't surprise him if Randy had bottles of lube stashed all over the house.

"Yeah…believe me, it was necessary." Randy popped up the lid and squirted a generous amount on to his fingers, rubbing them together before teasing Adam's entrance with one finger. Adam moaned and arched himself back, gasping as the finger entered him.

"Oooh fuck…"

"That feel good babe?" Randy asked, sliding in a second finger and fucking Adam with them slowly. He scissored them apart and slid a third finger inside to try to get Adam ready faster. His cock was rapidly hardening again to the soundtrack of Adam's whimpers and moans. The blonde had no idea how sexy he looked bent over the couch like that, his legs spread and humping Randy's fingers in need. "You like it when I do that?"

Adam nodded. "Fuck yeah." He grinded against Randy's fingers harder, moaning as his cock rubbed against the couch as a result.

Randy kept scissoring his fingers for awhile before snagging the lube once more and pouring some directly on to his cock. He used his free hand to rub himself, panting slightly since he was so hard that it almost hurt to touch. Adam glanced back at him, the two of them making lust filled eye contact before Randy withdrew his fingers and slammed his cock inside Adam.

"Randy!" Adam dug his hands into the couch and moaned as Randy grabbed his hips and began to thrust. He couldn't even begin to deny how good it felt. And it wasn't just because he had been sex deprived for days. It wasn't even about the sex in general. It had something to do with it yes but it wasn't JUST that. It was the need. The wanting. Randy needed him in ways that Jeff hadn't needed him in a very long time. And it wasn't just in the words he said; his actions matched it to boot. Every kiss, every touch, every thrust…he was fucking the hell out of Adam right now because he NEEDED him. Adam wasn't sure if Randy was in love with him or what…he hadn't asked and Randy hadn't really made that part clear. He really didn't want to know quite frankly. This situation was wrong and complicated enough as it was without throwing feelings into it. He didn't really feel anything for Randy. He liked him as a friend yes and was like addicted to being wanted and needed. He loved Jeff though…he did…

A hard thrust made Adam moaned and he let Randy pull him back by his hair so they could kiss. If he loved Jeff so much he shouldn't be doing this. Not at all. It shouldn't have even crossed his mind. Yet here he was, with a man he didn't even love. He didn't think he could ever actually love Randy…which meant he was using him. Using someone who was supposed to be his friend. Wow. He was sick. He was really really sick.

…

"Sure you scrubbed yourself hard enough?" Randy asked Adam once he emerged from his second shower of the night. He had wanted to wash all traces of Randy off of him in case Jeff was there when he got back. He had no idea what he was going to say if Jeff was there when he got home. He highly doubted that would be the case but he was already trying to make up a story just to be safe.

"I think so," Adam said. His skin was somewhat red from how hard he scrubbed but he was sure that would fade by the time he drove back home. "I saved you some hot water if you need to go in there."

"Thanks," Randy said, flopping down on to the couch. "Not necessary tonight though. John's with his family they won't be back until morning."

"Oh." Cue to the awkward silence. "I uh…I should…"

Randy nodded, getting back up so he could place a kiss on Adam's lips. "Until next time starshine."

Adam made no response to that. Instead he just left, driving back home as fast as he could trying to work on a story to tell Jeff in case he was home. The effort was all in vain though. Jeff still wasn't back and Adam took advantage by quickly taking Jack out to pee and then coming back inside to change into his pajamas and crash on the bed. He thought about turning on the TV to wait for Jeff but instead just laid there, curled up in a ball and trying not to think about the total mess that he just couldn't seem to stop digging himself deeper and deeper into.


	4. Chapter 4

Adam woke up the next morning with an arm and a leg draped over his body. He yawned and rubbed his eyes before twisting his body around to see that Jeff was in bed with him, fast asleep and snoring away. His hair was messy and hanging in his face and his breath reeked of alcohol, which made Adam cringe. Jeff must have gotten back extremely late because it had taken Adam quite awhile to go to sleep. And judging from his breath, he was still going to be drunk when he woke up. Not the first time that happened. Jeff had the tendency to lack self control when he was with his friends and since Adam hadn't been there to try to reel him in, who knew what crazy shit he had been doing.

Adam laid in bed for awhile longer, watching Jeff sleep before slipping out and going downstairs. He fed Jack and made some eggs and toast for himself. He was just going to let Jeff sleep it all off. If he woke him up now he would just be miserable and he would be babying him all day. Not the ideal way he wanted to spend his day off.

He was about to sit down to eat when the doorbell rang. Jack let out his most intimidating growl and shot off towards the door, barking his head off. Adam sighed and set his plate on the back of the stove so he could follow, surprised to find Jay standing on the other side of the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Hello to you sunshine," Jay said. He was WAY too cheery considering it was morning. "What's cooking?"

"I cooked my breakfast," Adam replied as he let Jay in. He shooed Jack away from the door and shut it before rushing back into the kitchen before Jay got the idea to steal his food. "Key words MY breakfast."

Jay pouted. "Didn't you get my call earlier?"

Adam paused. "No…"

Jay rolled his eyes. "Of course. You REALLY need to learn how to check your answering machine. I left you a message saying that we should go grab breakfast."

"Oh." Adam looked at his plate and shrugged his shoulders. "Whoops."

Jay rolled his eyes before opening the fridge. "Whatever. I'll make myself something then."

"Go right ahead." Adam sat down at the table, putting some hot sauce on his eggs and putting grape jelly on his toast before digging in. "What have you been up to anyway? I thought you were supposed to be picking AJ from Georgia and dragging him back here."

"Well…"

"Oh for the love of god, did you guys break back up already?"

"We never actually officially got back together," Jay said in his defense. He grabbed a pan and began making himself some scrambled eggs. "We were going to and then he told me he was still in love with Karen-"

"Who divorced Kurt only to marry Jeff freaking Jarrett, one of the premiere douchebags in the history of douchebags." Adam shook his head. "Dude, with the exception of you, he has like the worst taste."

Jay nodded in agreement. "Agreed. Buuut, lucky for me, I managed to reunite with someone else."

"If you say Tyson Tomko I'm going to slap you."

"Whaaaat?" Jay actually started laughing hysterically at that. "No. Hell no. I don't even know where he is anymore-nor do I care. It's Heath."

"Oh." That wasn't much better in Adam's eyes. He didn't like Heath. He founded the red headed man to be annoying and obnoxious and didn't see why Jay or anyone else liked him.

"Don't 'oh' my boyfriend." Jay finished making his eggs and put them on a plate before sitting down across from Adam. "You still have to be nice."

"I'll be civil," Adam said. "All I promise."

Jay rolled his eyes and shook his head in exasperation. "Why don't you ever like anybody I date?"

"I liked Matt," Adam replied with a shrug. "And I liked AJ. Trish was just fine too. Heath is just an idiot."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is-oh you know what? I'm not having this argument with you." Jay shoved a forkful of food into his mouth and got back up so he could get himself some orange juice.

"Get me a glass while you're at it too," Adam requested.

"What do you say?"

"Now bitch!" Adam laughed until Jay threw a pen at his head. "Hey now. That wasn't necessary."

"I disagree." Jay poured the juice and set the container back in the fridge before coming back to the table with the two glasses. "Where's Jeff?"

"Asleep."

"Still?"

"He went out with Matt and the crew last night. Got wasted. I think he's still going to be drunk when he wakes up so I'm trying to see if he can sleep it off."

"You _think_ he's still going to be drunk?"

"Yeah. I didn't go but he smells like a brewery."

Jay wrinkled his nose. "Ew." He tossed a piece of egg down to Jack so he would quit begging. "Why didn't you go?"

"Didn't feel like it."

"You working today?"

"Nah. Justin and some new kid we hired are running the shop today. I'm totally free."

"We should do something."

"Like what?"

"Well Cena told me that he, Randy, Cody and Ted were going to go see a movie. We could join them if we want."

Adam froze uncomfortably. He had a hard enough time hanging out with just Randy or John in a group setting but the both of them together? That felt like it had the makings for a recipe of disaster. "I don't know if I feel up to movies," he said, trying to dig himself out of it. "Cody and Ted are pains to take there."

"They're pains to take anywhere," Jay reminded him. "Randy can usually make them behave though."

"True…"

Jay frowned. "What's the matter?"

"What do you mean what's the matter?" Adam did his absolute best to play innocent instead of paranoid.

"You seem…"Jay frowned and gave Adam a good, long hard look. Adam stayed still, still trying to look as innocent as possible. "Is everything okay?"

Adam nodded. "Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Adam forced himself to chuckle awkwardly. "Why would you even ask that?"

"Things with Jeff okay? I mean, you guys aren't fighting again right?"

"No we're not fighting." Adam wanted to just leave it at that because that was the part that was true. Things weren't right though if he was cheating. Part of him really wanted to tell Jay what was going on between him and Randy. He knew that while Jay wouldn't approve, he would be the least judgmental on him and would have some kind of advice on what to do.

Jay pursed his lips and looked like he wanted to keep asking questions when his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. "Shit." He leaned back in the chair and took it out, reading the text he got real quick before turning to Adam. "Cena says movies are a go. They just need to know if we're going or not."

Adam nodded reluctantly. "Sure. We'll go." He didn't want to at all but given the line of questioning Jay just tried to pull, he felt like he had to go now just to prove that everything was fine and normal. "I don't know if Jeff will want to go though. He's going to be feeling like shit."

"So you'll just tag along with me and Heath," Jay said, which made Adam groan.

"Do NOT bring him."

"Too late. I told him about Cena's idea before I even came here."

"You're an ass."

"Takes one to know one bitch."

Adam groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. How he would make it through this day without strangling his own best friend he had no idea.


	5. Chapter 5

"How are you feeling Jeffro?"

"Ugh…" was the most intelligent reply Jeff could come up with. He felt like total shit. He had woken up to find Adam and Jay going off to see a movie with some of their friends and while a big part of him had just wanted to go back to bed, he got in the shower instead and then made himself a pot of coffee along with some toast so he could try to head off the killer hangover he was going to have. He had been somewhat drunk when he woke up but now he was sobering up and his head was pounding like crazy. Matt and Shannon had showed up not that long ago and they looked about as bad as he felt.

Shannon tried to laugh but it came out more like a weak chuckle. They had all the lights off and the curtains drawn since the light hurt their eyes and their head. "I don't suppose you want to do it again tonight then huh?"

"What? Noooo." Jeff would have shook his head but that hurt too much as well. "I gotta work tomorrow and I don't need to be sweating booze." Despite the fact that he sometimes sold his artwork as a means to make money, his main job was being a part of his friend's landscaping business. It was actually work he really enjoyed because he viewed it as another form of art. Adam always rolled his eyes when he launched into that explanation but he didn't care. It was what he thought and that was that.

"Relax, I was kidding," Shannon assured him. "Believe me, my liver wouldn't forgive me if we tried to party like that again tonight."

"Mine still hasn't forgiven me for college," Matt said as he stretched himself out further on the couch. He had his feet on Jeff's lap despite Jeff not wanting them there.

"How much partying could you have done in one semester?"

"You'd be surprised." Matt tapped Jeff's leg with his heel. "What was the thing you wanted to show me?"

"Huh?" Jeff's hungover brain didn't quite process that.

"The thing!"

"Is this a penis reference?" Shannon asked.

"No!" Matt denied but then paused. "I hope not anyway. He told me he had something to show me but he couldn't do it when Adam was around-"

"Ooooh." Now Jeff felt dumb for forgetting. "Move your feet and I'll get it."

Matt reluctantly did so and Jeff got up and went upstairs to their guest bedroom. He hid it in there since not only did the desk in there have a secret compartment to hide things in, but Adam rarely went in there and they weren't expecting any company to stay overnight, so they couldn't stumble upon it.

Shannon was the one who saw the box in Jeff's hand first and his eyes widened in shock. "Is that what I think it is?"

"I don't know. I haven't yet mastered mind reading." Jeff opened the box to show off the engagement ring he had bought last week. "Think Adam will like it?"

Matt's eyes widened almost more than Shannon's did. "Dude…you serious?"

Jeff nodded. "Why would have I bought it if I wasn't?"

"Hoooly shit." Shannon ran a hand through his hair. "I thought you didn't believe in marriage."

Jeff shook his head. "It's not that I didn't believe in it. I just didn't think I would ever want to." That was the reason he hadn't ever given Adam a ring before now. He hadn't ever felt like they had to get married or anything. Adam used to talk about wanting one but had seemingly accepted that Jeff wasn't into the idea. He hadn't wanted to go through the whole big trouble of having a big wedding and he didn't feel like they needed a piece of paper to define who they were as a couple. The other day though, he had happened to find himself in a jewelry store and before he knew it, he was buying a ring. He wasn't sure what had exactly triggered the decision. Maybe it was because he was older and it just felt right to do. He and Adam were going six years strong, they had a house together, they had a dog they raised as their son…maybe making it official wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"When are you going to ask him?" Matt asked.

"I haven't decided," Jeff replied honestly. "I'm uh…I uh…"

"Nervous?"

"Yeah." Jeff laughed weakly. "You wouldn't think I'd be nervous you know. I mean, we've been together for forever now. What's there to be nervous about?"

"It's still a big step though," Shannon pointed out. "Don't matter how long you've been with someone."

"Yeah…" Jeff looked at the ring before snapping the box shut. "You think he'll say yes?"

"Are you kidding? Of course he'll say yes!" Matt reached over and patted Jeff's shoulder encouragingly. "He adores you man. And he's wanted a ring longer than you have. You won't even get a chance to finish asking before he's saying yes."

"I hope so." Jeff got back up to hide the ring once again. With that encouragement he was ready to ask as soon as possible. Maybe even tonight when Adam got back. Or maybe tomorrow, so that he could spend today planning a whole romantic day for them to go on before he asked. Yes. That sounded good. Adam enjoyed that kind of stuff that was a great way to do it.

…

Randy tapped his fingers against the car door as he leaned back against it. He, John, Ted and Cody were waiting in the movie theater parking lot for Jay and Adam. Jay had texted Ted to let him know they were on their way there so it should only be a matter of minutes. John was leaning on the car right next to him, watching the thumb war that had broken out between Ted and Cody. "Are they really doing this?" he asked in disbelief.

Randy nodded. "Oh yeah. Believe me, this is nothing. They once had an all day rock-paper-scissors war and last weekend it was tic-tac-toe marathon."

John shook his head. "Wow. And here my mom thinks me still having Superman comics is immature."

"Not immature, just lame," Randy quipped.

"Ass." John punched Randy's arm playfully before his eyes fell on the car that was just pulling into the parking lot. "There they are."

Randy looked, keeping his face completely expressionless as Jay and Adam got out of the car. He couldn't help but keep his eyes on Adam though. The blonde wasn't just attractive; he was gorgeous. His face, his hair, his body…everything about him appealed to Randy. Yes Adam was taken and he shouldn't be sleeping with him but he found that he really couldn't help himself-nor did he particularly want to. Self control had never been a strength of his. And quite frankly, he thought himself better suited for Adam than Jeff was. He had seen the two of them together and could see what nobody else did: that Jeff took Adam for granted. And that didn't set well with him at all. You didn't take someone like Adam for granted. He sure as hell didn't when he had him.

"Hey guys!" John said. He walked over to them, slapping Ted and Cody upside the head to make them stop their nonsense as he went. Randy rubbed the back of his neck, his gaze switching to his current boyfriend. They had been friends first, then friends with benefits before John had broken him down into getting into an actual relationship. For awhile, being with John had done him good. He couldn't deny that. He had been going down a bad path and John's steady influence on his life had pulled him back from it. But he had come to realize he liked John more as a friend than loved him like a boyfriend and it was time to end the relationship. Sure he should have done that before he slept with Adam so at least both of them wouldn't be cheaters but it was way too late for that. It wasn't like he had been planning on starting something with Adam. He and Adam had gone out one night when John was sick and Jeff was out of town, got drunk and things had went from there. Now they just couldn't stop seeing each other, despite Adam's best attempts to do so.

Randy nodded at Jay and Adam, noticing that Adam was avoiding eye contact with him at all costs. He was the one that was really afraid of everyone finding out. Randy himself didn't really care. He was closer to Ted and Cody than he was everyone else in their group and they wouldn't hate him for his relationship with Adam. The only reason he hadn't even told them about the whole thing was because Adam insisted that nobody else know. He hadn't even told Jay as far as Randy knew.

Ted and Cody led the way into the theater with Adam, Jay and John in the middle and Randy bringing up the rear. Adam tried so hard to act natural that it bugged Randy. Keeping this thing a secret bugged him deep down because he knew that sooner or later, no matter how careful they were, someone would find out. And it would be more drama then than it would if they just came clean about it. They could just stop and never speak of it again though Randy didn't want to stop and he was sure Adam didn't either, no matter what guilt he was feeling. _I have to talk to him_, Randy decided to himself. That would be for the best. They had to figure this shit out one way or another. Hopefully he could find a way to get Adam alone before they all went home so they could do just that.


	6. Chapter 6

Adam found it nearly impossible to concentrate on the movie. He tried his best to do so but with Randy so close and stealing glances at him (he didn't think Randy knew that he knew but he did) it was just impossible to do. He tried to fake his way through the whole thing though. It wasn't too hard during the movie, since everyone else was so engrossed in the movie. It was some horror movie produced by the guy who created Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Jay had been dying to see this movie for ages now though it wasn't exactly Adam's first choice by any means. Cody and Ted though had wanted to see it and they wouldn't shut the fuck up about it until they all agreed to see it with them. John at least looked entertained by it. And if it weren't for Randy (or his paranoia over him anyway), Adam would have been enjoying it too.

He snagged the popcorn container from Jay and started shoveling it into his mouth. It was supposed to be just the two of them sharing it but it was a lot emptier than it had any right to be since he had barely touched it until now. "Did you really eat all this?" he asked Jay after a few bites.

He shook his head without looking away from the screen. "I shared with Cody."

"But it was _ours_!" Adam got a nasty look from the couple ahead of us, which made Jay and Cody smirk smugly at me. Fuckers. He whacked Jay upside the head and handed him the container back. "I'll be back." He got up out of my seat and left the theater, heading for the snack line at first until realizing he had to pee. So he turned and went to the bathroom instead, finding it empty. He did his business and washed his hands, not looking up as he heard the door open until he felt a familiar presence breathing on his neck.

"We need to talk."

Adam just about jumped out of his skin as he turned to face Randy. "JESUS Christ!" He shook his head and took a step back. "What are you DOING in here?"

"I told you," he replied. "We need to talk."

"Now?" Adam glanced over his shoulder towards the door. "No way. Not now."

"Now's the best time."

"How do you figure?"

"We're alone aren't we?"

Adam gave him an irritated look. "Someone could walk IN you idiot." He took another glance towards the door, a more nervous one this time. "One of our FRIENDS could walk in! Jesus Randy, following me is not very SUBTLE."

"Neither is your voice right now ADAM," he said, a smirk crossing his lips as he antagonized him. He scowled at him and tried to just storm off but he blocked his path. "Look, nobody is going to think anything. Just relax. They think you're getting snacks and they think I'm taking a piss. Totally innocent."

"Still doesn't mean we have time to talk," Adam objected. He tried to get around him again and succeeded this time, though he still failed at losing him. He stayed right on his heels, following me as he headed towards the snack line so he could come back with something and not seem suspicious.

"When IS a good time to talk then?" he asked, not letting this topic go at all. He followed Adam towards the snack line which made the blonde stop and sigh.

"What do you even want to talk about?"

"Us."

Adam froze uncomfortably at that answer. "No we don't need to talk about that."

"Yes we do. We can't keep going on like this. All this secret bullshit." Randy gave him a very serious look. "We can't hide this forever."

"If we're careful enough-"

"_No_ Adam, not even then." He shook his head. "Look, someone is going to find out eventually, no matter how careful we are. The longer we keep this a secret the more fucked up its gonna be when it does come out."

Adam bit down on his lower lip and looked away. He knew that Randy had a good point. As bad as it would be if he just came clean to Jeff, it would be worse if he was caught in the act somehow. Still though, he wasn't sure how he could ever look Jeff in the eyes and tell him what he had been doing. "I don't know if I can…"

Randy rolled his eyes. "Look. I'm breaking up with John and-"

"And you're going to what? Tell him and force me to confess to?"

"If you're not going to tell Jeff then I won't tell John."

"Why are you even breaking up with him?" Adam asked, his voice taking on an accusing one. "Do you think that if you break up with him that I'll break up with Jeff to be with you?"

Randy rolled his eyes. "Look. I'm breaking up with John and-"

"And you're going to what? Tell him and force me to confess to?"

"If you're not going to tell Jeff then I won't tell John."

"Why are you even breaking up with him?" Adam asked, his voice taking on an accusing one. "Do you think that if you break up with him that I'll break up with Jeff to be with you?"

Randy snorted. "Look, I'm not going to assume what you're going to do. I myself am not happy with John. He's a great guy yes but if I'm cheating on him with you then clearly something is wrong."

"You never said all this before…"

"Yeah well maybe I should have." Randy started to walk away but turned back to face Adam one more time. "And you know what? Something is just as wrong with you and Jeff if you're so willing to fuck me."

Adam's spine stiffened and he just stood there and watched as Randy walked away. He really hated it when Orton was right. He could tell himself that he was wrong all he wanted but he knew that wasn't the truth. Something was wrong with their respective relationships if they were having an affair behind everyone's back. John had been a steadying influence in Randy's dark time but clearly he was too nice and boring to contain the volatile younger man. And Jeff…well Jeff was Jeff. Adam loved him to pieces but something had gone so wrong along the way if this was the situation he was in now.

He got his snacks and went back into the theater, not answering Jay as to what had taken him so long. He was too busy thinking. Confessing to Jeff would be the best thing to do. As hard as it would be, it would be a thousand times worse if either Jeff caught him or Randy somehow or someone else did and then told him. That would be a disaster.

So he would tell…the thought of confessing still scared the shit out of him. He needed something to help give him the courage to actually look Jeff in the eye and do it. A practice confession. He immediately looked over at Jay. He would be the one to know first. Adam was sure he wouldn't be thrilled to hear the news, especially since he actually liked Jeff and liked Jeff FOR Adam but out of all his friends, he would be the one that would remain on his side no matter what. He needed that type of support. And maybe he would have some sort of advice on how to go about breaking the news to Jeff without pussying out.


	7. Chapter 7

"I don't see why we couldn't go get burgers with everyone else," Jay said as he and Adam went into Taco Bell together. The others had gone to get Burger King but Adam had made some excuse about Jeff grilling out hamburgers later and dragged Jay to Taco Bell with them so they could talk alone. Jay had known the whole time that he was lying to everybody else but kept his mouth shut about it until now. "What's up with you?"

Adam ignored him in favor of ordering their food. He paid for both of theirs and handed Jay his cup so they could get their drinks. He was refusing to address the issue until they sat down at the corner table with their food, which irritated Jay. "Come on man, talk to me," he nagged. "What the hell is with you lately? You're being really weird."

"I have to tell you something." Adam was glancing around to make sure nobody was within hearing distance. There was just a family eating in there with him and they were on the other side of the restaurant. As long as he didn't start yelling they wouldn't overhear him.

"Well yeah I figured that." Jay tilted back in his chair and drummed his fingers against the table impatiently. "So what is it? You can't keep me waiting in suspense man. It's not healthy."

Adam tried to crack some resemblance of a smile but didn't manage it. Instead he just tapped his fingers against the table and took a deep breath to brace himself. "You have to promise not to get mad. I need your support on this."

"I always have your back man," Jay reassured him. "BFFF man. Best fucking friends forever. I'll always have your back."

"This is really really bad though..."

"Did you kill someone or something?" Jay was actually serious with that question. "Do you need an alibi? Cuz I can give you one."

"No I didn't kill anyone." He might as well just say it and quit beating around the bush. "I'm cheating on Jeff."

Jay's eyes just about popped out of his head. "WHAT?"

"Ssssshhhh!" Adam kicked Jay's shin from under the table. Everyone was turning to look at them and his face flushed red in embarassment. "Jesus!"

"Sorry." Jay shook his head sheepishly. "How could you...I don't...dude what the hell? I thought you and Jeff were going great?"

"We were...and we are if you ask him." Adam sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

"How long has it been going on?" Jay was trying to ask nicely but he looked totally mind blown. He clearly hadn't seen this coming.

"Few months...it was just supposed to be a one time mistake but it just totally spiraled out of control."

"Why haven't you broken up with him?" Of course Jay asked that. It was a completely valid question. "I mean, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news but while cheating once is bad enough, you'll really look like the bad guy if it's been going on for that long."

"I know," Adam admitted. "I should have broken up with him I should have but..." His voice trailed off as he got lost in his thoughts. Truth was, he hadn't known how to do it. Jeff had been a constant in his life for so long that he didn't know how to break things off between them. As taken advantaged of as he felt, it was hard to imagine a life without Jeff. Maybe he was just as complacent with their relationship as Jeff was. If that was the case, he was even worse than he was before. At least Jeff genuinely thought they were happy. He was not only cheating but using their relationship as a safety net. Fuck, he felt like the shittiest person in the world now-not that that was much of a stretch at this point. He felt pretty horrible to begin with.

"So who's the guy?"

Adam blinked, taken off guard by the question. "What?"

"The guy," Jay prompted. "Who is he? Or is it a girl?"

"Oh. No it's a guy. Someone...someone we know."

"Well gee that narrows it down."Jay took a sip of his Mountain Dew.

"It's Randy."

Jay promptly choked on his drink. "Randy? Randy Orton?"

"You know any other Randy's?"

"Oh Christ..." Jay coughed and ran a hand over his face. "Oh christ Adam what were you thinking? How could you sleep with Randy fucking Orton? He's...he's evil!"

"He's not _that_ bad..." Adam cringed at the look on Jay's face. "AdYou promised you would be supporting-"

"Oh I'm supportive of you. Just not of what you're doing. Out of everything you've done, this has got to be the dumbest." Jay pushed his food away, not even wanting to touch it anymore. Adam couldn't blame him; he had lost his appetite as well. "Do you love him?"

"Who?"

"Randy!"

"No..."

"Then why are you fucking him? I've known you for a couple of decades now. You never were the one looking for a quick fuck."

Adam felt like the family on the other side of the room was watching them and he took a glance over to see that he was just projecting his paranoia. "He...he makes me feel wanted," he admitted. He couldn't even look at Jay as he said this. He was ashamed of what he had been doing. It wasn't right, no matter how unhappy he was in the relationship. "With Jeff it just feels like I'm there, you know? I'm just a part of the scenery to him. I'm like the couch or the lamp or the coffee table. There's no passion anymore...none that I can feel anyway. With Randy...there's a fire. It's kind of what like Jeff and I used to have but different...more dangerous."

"Yeah well he's not exactly known for being stable," Jay pointed out. He let out a heavy sigh. He seriously disapproved of the stuff that Adam was doing but what could really be said about it? He had promised to be supportive and clearly Adam knew he was wrong as well. He could tell by the look on his face. "When are you going to tell Jeff?"

Adam shrugged. "I don't know..."

"Dude, don't even tell me that you're not going to tell him." Jay shook his head. "Don't even give me that shit man. You HAVE to tell him."

"I know I know. Randy said the same thing to me."

Jay's eyebrows shot up. "He did?" He chuckled in bewilderment. "Wow. Who knew Orton could talk sense?"

"It happens when you wait for him to get done with his bullshit."

"I guess." Jay shook his head. "Seriously though, when did he say it?"

"Eariler today. When I went to get snacks at the movie and he came out to go to the bathroom. He says he's breaking up with John."

Jay's brow furrowed. "Is he gonna tell John about you guys?"

"I...I don't think so. He just made it sound like it was an errand that he forgot to do and was finally getting around to it. You wouldn't think he actually loved John."

"He probably doesn't." Again Jay was shaking his head. "I don't care how much he's changed. He never loved John. Ever."

"Little harsh there."

"I speak what I believe is the truth." Jay finally pulled his food back and took a bite of it, even though it was cold. "Do you think he loves you?"

Adam bit down his lower lip. "...I honestly don't know. Part of me says no but I wouldn't dare to assume what is going on in Randy's head."

"Hell no. A mind reader couldn't even do it." Jay took another bite of his food and chewed it slowly. "Adam..." he swallowed it and took a quick drink of his soda. "What if he does love you and wants you to leave Jeff for him? What are you going to do?"

Adam froze at that question. He hadn't thought of that. "I don't know..." He was certain that he had fallen out of love of Jeff (though he still loved him...he just wasn't IN love with him anymore) but he wasn't sure if he could ever actually love Randy. Randy had a history of bad mood swings, drug use and episodes of violence...John had mellowed him out but there was still the question as to whether that was permanent or not. Though to be honest with himself, Adam knew he was partly making excuses with those reasons. He partly just didn't think he could be with Randy as an actual couple because it would remind him of what he had done to Jeff.

"Well fuck." Jay ran a hand through his hair and pushed his food yet again, deciding it wasn't even worth eating now. "When are you going to tell Jeff?"

"I think I'm going to try to tonight." Adam rubbed the back of his neck and groaned. "I don't know what he's gonna do. I might have to crash at your place tonight."

Jay nodded. "That's fine. Call me when you need me and I'll get you."

"I could drive you know..."

"Believe me, after the two of you are done with that conversation, you're both going to be too big of messes to do anything. Just call me when you need me, alright?"

"Alright."

...

Jay dropped Adam off at his house, giving him a supportive squeeze of his shoulder as he got out of the car. Adam nodded in appreciation before closing the car door and taking a deep breath. He had been silent for most of the car ride back, taking deep breaths and telling himself that he could indeed look Jeff in the eye and tell him what had been going on. It had to be done. The deceit couldn't continue on. Whatever happened had to happen. He told himself over and over again and even started saying it under his breath as he walked up the path to the house. He could do this. He could. He just had to do it and then he could go from there. He would at least get some of the weight off his chest

He was just about to open the door to go into the house when it suddenly opened for him. Jeff was standing on the other side of it and his face was as pale as could be. "What is it?" Adam asked, knowing that it was something really really bad already.

Jeff swallowed hard. "Matt just called...Dad's in the hospital. He had a heart attack."


	8. Chapter 8

Any thought Adam had of telling Jeff about him and Randy was pushed aside with the news about Jeff's dad. Instead he took the keys and drove Jeff to the hospital since he was clearly in no condition to drive himself. They didn't say a word the entire way there. Jeff was clearly too upset and Adam just didn't know what to say. He knew Jeff didn't want to be coddled and told that everything would be okay when it might not be. Adam WANTED to tell him it would be okay because he truly wanted it to be. This was the absolute last thing he would ever want to happen to Jeff and his family. He knew how close Jeff and Matt were to their dad. They had lost their mom at young ages (Matt was twelve and Jeff was nine) and while their dad had been extremely strict on them growing up, he had mellowed out with age and they had become very tight knit over the years. Adam himself was very fond of Gil Hardy. He wasn't a man you wanted to fuck with but at his heart, he was one hell of a man. If he died it would just devastate Matt and Jeff and not be something that they would ever fully get over.

Adam parked as close to the hospital as he could and then followed Jeff into it. Matt and Evan were already there, as were Shannon and Julie. "How is he?" Jeff asked Matt the moment they laid eyes on each other. "How is he is he alright?"

Matt just shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "They haven't told us anything yet."

"What do you mean they haven't told you anything yet?" The volume of Jeff's voice was going up but he didn't give a shit. "That's BULLSHIT they need to tell us SOMETHING!"

"He just got in a little bit ago Jeffro," Shannon reminded him gently. "This is going to take some time."

Jeff clearly didn't appreciate that answer but Adam wrapped his arm around him and gave him a comforting kiss before he could say anything. Jeff calmed down significantly and just dropped his head down on to Adam's shoulder. "What exactly happened?" Adam asked, knowing that Jeff needed to know the answer to that, even if it was upsetting.

Matt took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair before launching into the explanation. "Me, Evan and Shanny were helping him with the watermelon patch and feedin' the goats when he started complaining of chest pain. Before I could get him inside or anything he collapsed and we had to call 911."

Jeff let out a low groan and sank down into the nearest chair. Adam immediately sat down next to him, his arms wrapped around him and hugging him tightly. "He's a strong man," he said quietly. He had to say something to make him feel better, even if it was futile. "He's a strong man if anyone can get through this it's him."

Jeff nodded along wordless and just rested his head against Adam. Adam kissed him again and just held him. He noticed Matt smiling softly at them and he felt a pang go through his chest…no. He couldn't even begin to focus on that. This wasn't about him. He had to take care of Jeff. As much as he needed to tell Jeff the truth and face the fact that for him, the relationship had fallen apart, this was not the time or the place. He had to take care of Jeff. Whatever (one sided) issues they had, he did still care about Jeff. There was still a love…maybe he wasn't IN love anymore but he loved him enough still to try to take care of him through this mess.

They sat there for what felt like forever, nobody really saying much of anything. More of their friends and family showed up since Gil was pretty well loved but Adam barely acknowledged their existence. He just sat there with Jeff, occasionally saying a comforting word but mostly just zoned out since it seemed like Jeff wasn't really listening to him that much. Hopefully his presence was doing enough to help.

Finally, after what felt like hundreds of hours of waiting, a doctor finally came out to see him. "Are you Gilbert Hardy's family?"

"Yes." Matt spoke for everyone as they all stood up and stepped towards the doctor. The doctor, a somewhat short, pudgy, balding man with horn rimmed glasses, took a look at all of them and immediately stepped back so he wasn't so crowded. "We are. How is he?"

"He's going to be just fine," the doctor said, taking a glance at the clipboard he was holding. "We ran some tests and it appears that it was only a mild heart attack. He will have to stay here a couple days for observation and there will be some medicine we'll prescribe him to take to try to make sure there won't be a more serious attack in the future."

"Can we see him?" Jeff asked.

The doctor hesitated before answering that one. "For the time being it's better for him not to have a crowd of people. Which of you are the _immediate_ family?"

Matt and Jeff both raised their hands. "His sons," Jeff clarified. "Can we see him?"

The doctor nodded. "For a bit yes."

Matt and Jeff both sighed in relief. Matt gave Evan a quick kiss and Jeff gave Adam's hand a good squeeze before they went and followed the doctor to Gil's room. The others, now relieved since it was good news, began to talk amongst themselves. Adam stayed quiet though. He let out a long sigh and pulled his phone out of his pocket, excusing himself from the others by telling them that he was going to go to the bathroom. He did go there but once inside he leaned his back against the wall and dialed Jay's number. He had promised to call and let him know what was going on though this wasn't exactly the type of news he was expecting to deliver.

…

Jeff and Matt stayed by Gil's side as much as possible during his hospital stay, which meant Evan and Adam were stuck grabbing food for them when needed and dragging them home once visiting hours were up. Adam also had to go to work which he actually found to be a nice escape because being stuck at the hospital for so long gave him the willies. Jeff knew that of course but what could be done about it? Nothing so Adam kept his mouth shut and it just wasn't addressed.

Randy tried to call Adam a couple of times during that but Adam ignored the calls. Even if he was just checking up on Gil Adam didn't want to talk to him. He didn't even want to think about the situation he had gotten himself into by having the affair with Randy. He had no idea how he was going to tell Jeff any time soon now and even thinking about talking to Randy now just made him uneasy.

When it was time for Gil to come home, Matt, Jeff, Adam and Evan were all there to take him. Shannon, Shane and a few others had taken up working on his farm for him despite his insistence that they didn't have to. "You really all don't need to hover you know," Gil said gruffly. "I'm gonna be fine."

"The doctor said that you have to take it easy," Matt reminded him. "And Evan and I've already moved in to make sure you do just that."

Gil sighed and acted like he thought that was completely ridiculous. Adam could tell though that he was touched that they were willing to do that. He just couldn't let it show. He was an old school kind of guy that wasn't supposed to need that kind of help.

Once they were inside, they made Gil sit down on the couch in the living room since he wasn't supposed to be going up and down the stairs unless it was after he woke up in the morning or when he was going up to bed at night. Matt and Jeff went to go put his stuff away while Evan went to go make some lunch, which left Adam and Gil by themselves. "What do you want to do Legend?" Everyone called him 'The Legend'. Even Matt and Jeff did sometimes. "Wanna watch some TV?"

Gil just shrugged. "Put on whatever you want."

"Okay." Adam went to grab the remote when Gil suddenly put his hand on his shoulder to stop him. "Legend? You okay?" His gut reaction was to be afraid that Gil was having another heart attack. He tried not to think THAT negative but he couldn't help it.

"You're a good boy, you know that?"

Adam blinked, taken off guard by that. "I am?"

Gil chuckled lightly. "Yeah. You're a good boy. I'm glad Jeff found someone like you." He patted him on the shoulder and then leaned back, acting like he had never said anything. Adam sat there frozen, not sure what to do. He hadn't expected something like that to come out of Gil's mouth since he wasn't the type to SAY anything like that. He expressed himself through actions, not words. The heart attack must have really shaken him-and now Adam himself was shaken because he knew Gil wouldn't feel the same way if he knew the secret he was keeping from them all.

...

Later that night, once Jeff and Adam were home, Adam was cuddled up on the couch with Jack when Jeff came in and suddenly shut off the TV. "Heeeeey," Adam protested with a pout. "We were watching that."

"Sorry." Jeff didn't sound very sorry at all. "I gotta talk to you."

"What about?" Adam sat up as Jeff knelt down in front of him. Jack barked in annoyance and ran off to play with one of his toys.

"This whole thing with Dad got me thinking," Jeff said, taking a deep breath and grabbing hold of both of Adam's hands "about how short life is. And how anything can just happen and take one of us away." He squeezed Adam's hands more tightly and Adam suddenly had the most god awful feeling in the pit of his stomach. "It made me realize that I've put this off for way too long."

_Don't do what I think you're gonna do,_ Adam prayed to himself as Jeff reached into his pocket. _Jeff please don't please don't make this more complicated-oh no…_

"Adam, will you marry me?" Jeff popped open the ring box and Adam stared at the engagement ring, completely speechless. Oh god he should have told Jeff so much sooner. He should have told Jeff sooner because now he couldn't tell him. He couldn't bring himself to tell him now so he did the one thing he was so good at lately: digging himself into a _deeper_ hole.

"…Yes."


	9. Chapter 9

"HOW could you say yes?" Jay asked incredulously. Adam had called him to tell him about what had happened since he definitely needed someone to talk to now. And while Jay was planning on trying to be supportive, he could not even believe the whole new mess Adam was in now. Just when he thought it couldn't get worse, it did.

"Dude, I could NOT say no," Adam said in his defense. He was pacing around the kitchen, alone for the first time in days. Gil had a doctor's appointment so Matt and Jeff both went with him, giving Adam some time to breathe. "He started out by talking about how this whole thing with Legend has gotten him thinking about this shit…there was no possible way for me to say no, let alone even THINK about telling him about me and Randy." He flopped down on to the nearest chair and ran a hand through his hair. "I couldn't do it to him. I couldn't. I didn't have the heart to. Not after what he's been going through."

"Well fuck..." Jay sighed loudly on the other end of the phone. "I know you couldn't but still...Adam, if you don't love him, you can't go through with this marriage thing. That's not fair to you or to him."

"I know."

"He needs someone that actually loves him the way he thinks you do and you need someone who you can love like that."

"I _know_ Jay." Adam didn't mean to sound as snappish as he did and he winced. "Sorry. I just...I just don't know what to do right now."

"I hear you man." Even though Adam had no way of seeing him he knew that Jay was shaking his head. "I wish I knew what to tell you. I really do."

"This is too fucked up." Adam reached over and grabbed a banana, tossing the peel across the table without caring where it landed. He wasn't even hungry yet he was eating anyway. He had been doing that a lot lately. He was doing it purely out of nerves. Probably not the best of ideas since he would end up about five hundreds pounds if this kept up but he couldn't begin to stop himself. "I can't even like deal with this."

"You kind of have to though."

"Yeah..." Adam knew he did but he didn't know how. He really didn't know what the hell he was going to do. No answer actually felt right. Either he came clean and broke Jeff's heart or he kept it to himself and get married despite the fact that he didn't feel the love and the passion he used to feel and also ignore the fact that he wasn't IN love with Jeff anymore. He did still care about him though and didn't want to hurt him, which was why he was having such a hard time doing what probably be ultimately best for him. It felt selfish of him, especially now considering the circumstances.

"I think…I think I need to give it another shot."

"What?" Jay sounded surprised and confused by that statement. "Adam, you don't HAVE to-"

"Yeah…I do." Adam got back up and went into the living room to see if he could look out the window and see if Jeff's car was back yet. It wasn't so he just flopped down on the couch. "Look, you and I both know I can't tell him right now. That's not what he needs on top of everything else. Maybe while I wait for a good time I try to see if there's something I can do to fix what's wrong."

"It's a two way street though," Jay pointed out. "You can't just fix the problem yourself when he don't even know there's one to be fixed."

"I gotta do SOMETHING Jay. I can't break up with him and maybe if I go outta my way to try to put the spark back into this relationship without him knowing it could come back to him like naturally or whatever."

Jay was quiet for a few minutes and Adam waited so he could process that. "Would you stop seeing Randy?" he finally asked.

"Yeah."

"Do you MEAN it?"

Adam blinked at Jay's tone. "Yeah…would I say it if I didn't mean it?"

"You probably mean it now, but will you when Randy comes calling again?" Jay was being pretty frank about this though he kind of had to be. He had to make sure Adam was serious about this. "What if Jeff isn't responsive to your efforts? Will you just give up and go back to boning Randy behind his back?"

"I don't know yet, okay?" Adam wanted to just say no all together but that could end up being a lie and he didn't want to have a conversation about that down the road. "Let me just try this shit first alright? I might just have to figure this out as I go."

"Alright," Jay said with a sigh. He sounded not entirely happy but what else could he say? Adam was in deep shit no matter which way he turned. Crawling out of his hole would be one of-if not THE-hardest thing he had ever had to do in his life.

The sound of a car door slamming shut made Adam sit up. "I think Jeff's home. I'm gonna let you go, alright?"

"Okay. Call me back later, alright?"

"Okay." Adam hung up the phone and just got it back on the receiver as Jeff came in. "Hey babe!"

"Hey." Jeff closed the door behind him and looked towards the phone. "Who were talking to?"

"Jay." Adam walked over and wrapped his arms around his neck, planting a big kiss on his lip. Jeff's eyes widened in surprise but he didn't object to it at all. Adam slid his tongue into Jeff's mouth, making out with him quite eagerly. They used to do this kind of stuff all the time. Everyone else would get so annoyed that they never got off each other. This kind of stuff had dwindled off quite a bit thought Adam was definitely looking to resurrect it. Maybe that would help him get over what he was feeling. If he could prompt Jeff indirectly to be more passionate it would resolve what he thought was lacking.

"What did he want?" Jeff finally managed to ask in between kisses.

"Just to talk. He asked how Legend was doing too." Adam kissed Jeff again, sparking another mini makeout session. When they finally broke apart they went to the couch, Adam cuddling up to Jeff and resting his head against his shoulder. "How's he doing?"

"Pretty good," Jeff replied. "He's not caring for being so restricted physically but it's what he's gotta do so he's dealing."

"That's good." Adam ran his fingers over Jeff's chest, tracing the design that was on his shirt. "Hey babe?"

"Yeah?"

"We should go out tonight."

Jeff blinked, surprised by the suggestion. "Where to?" He seemed receptive enough to the idea.

Adam shrugged. "I don't know. Anywhere. It don't matter really. I just don't think we get out enough." He poked Jeff's chest lightly with one finger. "You deserve to have some fun."

Jeff smiled weakly. "Fun would be nice..." He moved some of Adam's hair out of his face and nodded. "We'll go. It'll be fun."

"Oh yeah." Adam kissed him, not allowing himself to believe anything but that.

...

Adam and Jeff ended up going to the closest bar to their house later that night. Usually when they went these days they went with their whole group of friends so it was a nice change of pace to be alone with each other for a change. They held hands as they sat down with their drinks, Jeff bobbing his head to the music as Adam looked around. He didn't see anyone they knew which was fine with him. That meant they would actually get to be alone together.

"I can't believe we still come here after all this time," Jeff said as he took a drink of his beer. "You would have thought we found a new place to go."

"Yeah well maybe if more people here became alcoholics, they would open more bars," Adam quipped. He took a drink and smirked. "We could have always gone to that lesbian bar. That would have spiced things up."

Jeff chuckled. "Oh yeah. It would have." He leaned back in his seat and pointed to the other side of the bar. "Oooh they finally got that mechanical bull up." He nudged Adam's shin with his foot, a grin on his face. "Wanna try it out?"

Adam's instinct was to say no. He hated mechanical bulls. But for the sake of their night he made himself nod anyway. This was the type of stuff Jeff liked to do. "Sure."

Jeff's eyebrows went up. "Really?"

"Of course. Just don't be mad when I stay on it longer than you do."

"Is that a challenge?"

"You bet it is."

Jeff smirked and got up, grabbing Adam's hand as he did so. "We'll see about that."

Adam grinned and followed Jeff over to the bull. There were a few people already waiting in line to use it so Adam went real quick to grab himself a shot of tequila for some liquid courage before coming back to Jeff. "Who's going first?"

"I will," Jeff replied. "Just so you can see what it is you have to beat."

"Oh thanks babe," Adam said with an eye roll. "Glad to know you love me enough to put that kind of pressure on me."

"Anytime." Jeff pinched his cheeks playfully before going to get on the bull. Adam rolled his eyes and glanced around, freezing up when he saw Randy walking in all alone. Shit. Shit shit shit. Adam immediately tried to just look away but it was too late. Randy had seen him and made eye contact. Not good. In a panic, he quickly hopped over the small barricade and looked at the guy controlling the bull. "Can we ride at the same time?"

The guy shrugged. "I don't see why not. If you break something though, don't come crying to me."

Adam wasn't planning on it. He hopped on to the bull as Jeff twisted his torso around in surprise. "You scared to do it alone?" he asked teasingly.

"Nah. I just wanna make sure you fall off first." Adam reached forward and held on and glanced back out to the crowd to see Randy watching them with narrowed eyes. He did not look happy at all. _Well shit…that's not gonna be fun to deal with…_


	10. Chapter 10

"Shit!" Adam nearly tripped over his own two feet as he tried to get into the house. He and Jeff had had a little too much to drink, Jeff even more than he had. The bull riding had lead to more drinking, Adam getting pretty drunk and Jeff getting completely plastered. Adam had to drive home and was now trying to get Jeff into the house, yet that was easier said than done. Jeff was almost falling over, hanging on Adam's neck and trying to pull him down on to the ground with him. "Jeff baby come on," he said, nearly dropping his keys in his attempt to keep Jeff on his feet. "Work with me." He tightened his grip on Jeff and managed to get the door unlocked and them finally in. He kicked the door shut behind them, not caring to lock it as he dragged Jeff up to their room. It was almost impossible to get him up the stairs but after finally putting Jeff over his shoulder and carrying him that way for the rest of the way. When they got to their room he didn't even bother to try to shut that door. He just walked over to the bed and dropped Jeff down on to it before collapsing on to it himself. It felt beyond good to be laying down on the nice soft bed. Carrying Jeff around had made him extremely light headed and he actually passed out for awhile, face down on the bed with his arm draped over Jeff's sleeping form. He wasn't sure how long he slept for but he was eventually woken up by his phone ringing over and over again. "Fuuuuck." He ignored it the first couple of times it went off but after the third time he reluctantly sat up and pulled his phone out of his pocket so he could answer it. "Hello?"

"That was a lovely show you and Jeff put on for everyone. If I didn't know better, I would say you two were a perfectly happy couple."

Adam groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh Christ Randy. Why are you calling me?"

"I need to see you."

Adam felt his stomach drop down somewhere to the floor. This was the last temptation he needed. He was trying to be happy with Jeff he didn't need Randy spoiling that. "No."

"If you can't get away this second I-"

"_No_ Randy," Adam said again, trying to force himself to be firmer this time. "Not at all. Not again. We're done."

Randy chuckled dryly on the other end of the line. "How many times have I heard _that_ one now?"

"It don't matter. I really do mean it this time."

"And what makes this time different?"

"Jeff and I are getting married."

There was a long silence following that announcement. "Well then," Randy said slowly "I guess that'll just fix everything won't it?" That question was totally sarcastic. "All your feelings of being under appreciated will jut magically disappear with that ring on your finger, won't they? Because you know, I'm assuming you're too much of a coward to actually tell him how you feel."

Adam bit down on his lower lip and hung his head. "You know what's been going on..."

"With his dad? Yeah. That news traveled pretty fast. But I fail to see how you're obligated to be in a relationship that you aren't happy in."

Adam snorted and got up off the bed and left the room. "Of course you don't understand. You want to know why you don't understand? You are without a doubt one of the most selfish pricks I have _ever_ met in my life!"

"Am I now?" Randy didn't sound insulted at all by that accusation.

"Yes," Adam hissed. "You are. You always have been. You don't take _anyone's_ feelings into account besides your own. It don't matter who you hurt as long as _you're_ happy."

"Well in case you haven't figured it out Adam, there's no point in trying to please everybody. You're the one that has to live with yourself."

"But you don't try to please ANYBODY though!" Adam winced at himself. He hadn't meant to raise his voice but he hadn't been able to help it. He was still kind of drunk he wasn't being very careful as to where he was having this conversation. He was lucky that Jeff was such a deep sleeper when he was trashed or there would be trouble. "You're selfish. You care for YOU and what YOU want and that's it! That's IT! You broke up with John like it was nothing while he LOVED you!"

"And you don't think he deserves to have someone that actually loves him back?" Randy countered. "He's a great guy. He really is. I was lucky to have him, I admit, but I've never loved him. And to pretend otherwise was a slap to both our faces."

Adam sighed and ran hand through his hair. "Well that's just great. I'm glad it's so simple for you. It's not for me. I still love Jeff though so excuse me if I can't just LEAVE him."

Randy snorted. "You're not IN love with him though. I know THAT for shit sure."

"Just leave me alone-"

"You know what though? I don't think you love him as much as you think." Even though Adam couldn't see him, he was sure Randy was smirking now. "I think that you probably do still care for him but you don't LOVE him. THAT part is just your guilt talking. Your guilt and your fear."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Adam said weakly.

"Oh yeah? Then why didn't you just tell him how you felt to begin with and save yourself from this hole you dug yourself into?" Randy waited for Adam to give some kind of reply but there was none to be given. He was right. They both knew he was right. If he had just accepted how he felt and dealt with it instead of running from it (and running into Randy's arms while doing it) there wouldn't be this mess. "Do you like playing the victim Adam?" Randy's tone got a little harder. "Do you like playing up the fact that the world around you is crashing down? And just ignoring the fact that YOU were the one that caused it in the first place?"

Adam swallowed hard, trying to ignore the lump in his throat. "I have to go," he said. His mouth was completely dry. He needed a drink...if he could swallow anything at this point. The lump in his throat was getting so big that he thought he wasn't going to be able to breathe much longer.

"Adam you just HAVE to tell him," Randy insisted. "You can't go through with the wedding you-"

Adam just hung up the phone. He couldn't listen to it anymore, mostly because deep down inside, he knew that Randy was most likely right. He could pretend all he wanted to, but at the end of the day, his feelings of unhappiness weren't going to go away. Nothing was going to be fixed this way and coming clean was just going to hurt everybody. No matter which way he cut it, he was fucked. Completely and utterly fucked.


	11. Chapter 11

"You guys don't have to do this," Adam said as he watched Matt and Evan put up decorations around the house. The news of the engagement had thrilled Jeff's family to no end and now Matt was insisting on throwing them a party to celebrate. Jeff was outside talking to Shane as he worked the grill with Gil and Adam was inside, just watching Evan and Matt since they were insisting he didn't have to do anything. Jay was supposed to come by earlier than the other guests to help make sure Adam could get through this. Adam was doing his best to throw himself into everything with Jeff, though Randy's continuing constant calls were not helping anything. Adam was doing his best to ignore them but it was hard. The pull to go back to Randy was still there. He didn't want it to be but it was. Jay was still the only one that knew and he was trying to encourage Adam to stop this wedding train in its tracks before things went too far. Adam didn't know how to stop it though. He found himself flip flopping between wanting to get lost back into Jeff and wanting to just stop everything completely. It was driving him crazy quite frankly. He didn't understand why he couldn't make up his mind for once. Either he wanted Jeff or he didn't. He wanted to marry him or didn't. Why he had to make things worse by being indecisive baffled him.

"We want to," Matt assured him. He made sure Evan was getting the streamers up while he set up the bar in the corner of the living room. It looked like he had literally bought out an entire liquor store. If there was one thing this group was good at, it was partying. "It's the least we can do. Besides, I think after everything we could use some fun." He finished up with the bar and looked back at Evan, a smirk on his handsome face. "How's it coming babe?"

"I think there should be a law against short people doing this," Evan replied. He was up on a ladder so he could hang the streamers before putting up a banner and it was not going well for him. "This discriminates against short people."

Matt just laughed at him while Adam rolled his eyes and went over to pull Evan off the ladder. "Here, just let me do it short stuff."

Evan huffed while Matt laughed even more. "Jerk." He punched Adam in the side before going over to the couch to plop down. "When are you and Jeff even getting married anyway?"

Adam shrugged, trying to keep himself from cringing at the question. It was all he was hearing from anyone these days. "Whenever we decide to. We uh...haven't really talked about it." That was the truth. Besides from being proposed to things really hadn't gotten that different between them. Jeff seemed to be enjoying just getting the ring on Adam's finger and for Adam, the further they could push away setting an actual date, the better.

"It's still exciting though," Evan said, turning himself on to his side so he could look at Adam. "Like I never thought Jeff would ask. If I was you I'd be rushing him down the aisle just to get it done with."

Adam forced himself to smile. "Ev, you know nobody can rush him into anything. He's stubborn like that."

Evan smirked. "Yeah...a trait all these Hardy boys share."

Matt chuckled lightly and grabbed a stool so he could step on it and help Adam hang the other side of the banner. "It's one of our many quirks." He looked over to make sure the banner was straight before pushing the tack he had into it. "I'm glad you two are finally making it offical though. I know Dad's wanted to see it for forever, so this has made him really happy." Matt stepped off the stool and went over to Adam, clapping his hand on his shoulder just as he was getting off the ladder. "You've been as much of a part of this family as any of us-maybe more than some of the ones that are related by blood." He squeezed Adam's shoulder. "Out of everyone Jeffro could have picked, I'm glad it's you."

Adam couldn't say anything. He just nodded along, a large lump in his throat making it hard to even breathe. Now he felt even more guilty than he did before. Shit. He did make himself smile and his eyes watered up, which Matt misconstructed luckily for him. Matt pulled him into a hug, patting his back and Adam hugged him back, pressing his face into Matt's shoulder and hid his face, biting down on his lower lip and taking a deep breath. He couldn't do this anymore. He had to be with Jeff. Whatever issues they had, he would just have to work through them. He couldn't just destroy a whole family just because he was bored or whatever...he didn't have that kind of malice in him.

...

"Holy shit..." Jay said under his breath as he and Adam surveyed the scene in front of them. "Did they invite the whole town?"

"I think they invited the entire state," Adam replied, taking a drink of his beer. The Hardy household was filled to the max and the front and back yards were as well pretty much. "Do we even know half these people?"

Jay frowned and pouted his lips as he surveyed their surroundings even closer. "Oooh there's my baby!"

Adam rolled his eyes as he looked at Heath, who was wrestling around with Justin Gabriel as Kofi, Ron and Jack Swagger egged them on. "He's someone I wish I didn't know."

Jay's eyes narrowed before driving his elbow into his gut. "Bastard. Don't talk about him that way."

Adam winced and held his hand to his ribs. "Maybe if he was less annoying..." He squeaked as Jay raised his fist this time and he jumped away. "Stoooop! I'm gonna tell Jeff!"

Jay rolled his eyes. "Like I'm scared of him..." He clearly had more to say on the subject of Jeff but he couldn't now. Adam had managed to tell him that he was going to go through with the wedding and stuff before the party started and now they had to wait until later so they could actually talk properly. Jay clearly was ready for it though Adam was trying to push it to the back of his mind and just enjoy himself. It would be a nice change of pace anyway.

"Jay! Hey Jay!"

Adam rolled his eyes as Heath abandoned Justin to come over by them. "I'm gonna get me another beer."

"But you just got that one."

"Oh..." That was true but Adam just did not want to deal with Heath tonight. So, thinking quickly, he put the bottle up to his lips and chugged the rest of its contents as fast as he could. When he was done he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and burped loudly. "Now I need another."

Jay wrinkled his nose, giving Adam a completely disgusted look. "Did Judy raise you in a _barn_? Get away from me you pig!"

"Going and gone." Adam took off just as Heath was getting to them, trying to push his way to the bar so he could grab another drink. About halfway there though the beer he just chugged got to him and he swung in the other direction, heading up the stairs and going to the bathroom that was near his and Jeff's room since the one downstairs had a line about a mile long. He was just about to shut the door when someone pushed him from behind, nearly making him fall right on his face right there on the bathroom floor. "Hey!" He managed to catch himself and straightened up, turning around to give the asshole a piece of his mind. The words died in his throat though when he saw that it was Randy. "Oh shit..."

"Hello to you too Adam," Randy said as he closed the door behind him.

Adam shook his head in disbelief. "What the hell do you want Randy?"

"We need to talk."

"No we really don't." Adam tried to push past him so he could leave but Randy refused to let him through. "Randy come on. I want to leave."

"Adam..." Rand blocked his way again, a weird look on his face. "I just...I..." He shook his head, a look of determination crossing his face. "Oh fuck it." He grabbed Adam by the arms and slammed his lips against his. Adam's eyes widened in shock and he tried to rip his head back. Randy held strong though, deepening the kiss and sliding his tongue into Adam's mouth. Adam gasped, and instinctively started kissing back, moaning into Randy's mouth as he was pushed back up against the wall. Randy's hand slid under his shirt, going across his chest and down his stomach before going for his jeans.

"Wait..." Feeling Randy unzip his pants made Adam come back to his senses. "Wait wait wait wait..." He pushed Randy away and zipped his jeans back up. "No more. We're done."

"No."

"NO? How can you just tell me NO?"

"I think I'm in love with you."

Adam's mouth literally dropped at that response. His entire body froze on the spot and his mind went blank. "...What?" he finally managed to say.

"I think I'm in love with you," Randy repeated. "I can't stop thinking about you Adam. Being without you is making me insane. All I can think of is the way you taste..." a smirk started to cross his lips "...the way you writhe underneath me..."

Adam grimaced, his cheeks flushing at that thought. "Randy...I'm sorry, but I don't love you. I never have. I love-"

"Do NOT tell me you love Jeff," Randy growled, actually scaring Adam a bit. "Don't even feed me that. You're marrying him because you feel obligated to. Yet you'll fuck me behind his back for ages and then suddenly stop and act like you're so high and mighty-"

"What we did was WRONG!" Adam snapped. "It was WRONG. What we did was wrong. And I can't do it anymore."

"I make you feel more than he does," Randy hissed, stepping in Adam's way yet again. "He doesn't appreciate you. I do."

"YOU appreciate me? Randy...you're selfish. You want me like a kid wants his toy. I told you I was done and now you "love" me?" Adam shook his head. "I can't do this." He made another attempt at the door, this time pushing Randy out of the way so he could open the door. He didn't get to walk out though. His eyes met the stricken green ones that belonged to Jeff and he froze once again, his heart crashing through his stomach and landing somewhere all the way down in hell.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry for the delay and the shortness. There have been issues going on personally. Hopefully things will stay settled down so I can get fully back on track.**

**...**

The term 'uncomfortable silence' took on a whole new meaning. The three of them stood there, unable to even speak. Randy was staring at the ground, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. He wanted to leave but he couldn't get around Jeff and Adam. The two of them were just staring at each other. Adam was completely stricken. This was the realization of everything he had been trying to avoid. He could tell by the look on Jeff's face that he had heard most if not all of what was said. It was the perfect combination of confusion, hurt, anger...fuck. Adam tried to swallow but the lump in his throat was too big. He could barely breathe at the moment. It felt like all the oxygen had not only left his body but the entire room as well. He wanted to just get out. Just get out and run. It wasn't an actual option though, no matter how much he wanted it to be.

"Jeff…" His voice died at that one word. It was enough to break Jeff out of the seemingly catatonic state he had briefly fallen into though. Jeff's face settled into pure anger and he pushed Adam out of the way so he could lunge at Randy. He drove her shoulder into the taller man's gut, driving the air out of him and sending them both crashing to the ground.

"Jeff!" Adam's eyes just about popped out of his head. He had only seen Jeff get violent once in their entire relationship and that had been in some stupid bar fight from years past. "JEFF!"

Jeff didn't even act like he heard him. He just kept pummeling Randy over and over and over again, busting his nose and mouth all up. "Jeff!" Adam finally forced himself to move, grabbing Jeff by the shirt and pulling him off Randy. Jeff growled and shoved Adam away roughly. Adam tried to catch himself but ended up tripping over his own feet and falling anyway. He let out a surprised yelp, which did stop Jeff from attacking Randy again. He stared down at Adam instead, an unreadable expression on his face. Adam winced, just wanting to die right there on the spot. "Jeff I-"

He didn't get to finish. Jeff just stormed out, running out the hall and down the stairs. Adam quickly pushed himself back up to his feet and gave chase, coming down the stairs just as Jeff was storming out the front door. Matt, who had been in the midst of chasing after his brother, turned to Adam and opened his mouth to ask him what had happened.

"Not now," Adam said before the question could even be ask. He stepped around Matt and went out the door, sprinting out to catch up with Jeff. He thought for sure Jeff was heading to his car to take off but that wasn't the case. He was heading down the street on foot, which did allow Adam the chance to catch up. "Jeff! Jeff wait!" He put his hand on Jeff's shoulder only to get it slapped away.

"Why?" Jeff stopped and turned around. His voice was so filled with anger but it cracked with hurt and confusion. "Why would you…how many times did you…"

Adam cringed. "More than I want to admit…"

"More than you want to admit?" Jeff repeated in disbelief. "More than you want to admit?" Shaking his head, he threw his hands up in the air. "What the fuck kind of answer is that? Seriously. You've slept with Randy and THAT'S an answer you give me?"

"I'm sorry!" Adam said, his tone getting more defensive than he intended it to. "I didn't mean to-"

"To sleep with him? What did you trip and fall on his dick?"

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

Jeff let out a laugh. It was completely humorless and it was followed by Jeff starting to pace back and forth. "What did you THINK was going to happen when you did that? What did you think that was going to do to me? Or did you even think of that?"

Adam hung his head in shame. He had thought of that; that was the problem. What this would do to Jeff hadn't been enough to stop him from doing it. He had let his own restlessness and unhappiness to drive his actions, which had been wrong. His relationship with Randy shouldn't have even been started. He should have broken up with Jeff or actually told him how he felt and worked on fixing it together. But of course he had done neither option. He had just made an even bigger mess out of things. "I'm sorry," he said yet again. It was the only thing he could really say at this point. "Jeff I'm so sorry I am-" He took a step forward to try to touch Jeff but Jeff immediately stepped back. It wasn't a surprising action considering the circumstances but Adam found himself hurt by the action anyway.

"I just...I can't. I can't do this." Jeff shook his head and took another step back. "I can't even look at you right now."

"Jeff-" Adam tried to approach Jeff again but Jeff wasn't having it. He just took even more steps back.

"Just...just go Adam. Just leave me alone. I gotta...I don't know." Bleary eyed, Jeff quickly turned away and started to walk once again, breaking out into a full blown run before Adam could try to say anything or go after him. Adam could only watch him go, a large lump throwing in his throat. No apology would do any good. Shaking his head, Adam tried to shake off his tears. He didn't feel like he had the right to cry. He had caused all this mess and this pain. What right did he have to be upset about Jeff not wanting anything to do with him? It was what he deserved.

"Adam?"

Adam blinked and looke up to see Jay standing there. Jay looked confused at first but the confusion cleared up when he took one look at Adam's face. He didn't even have to ask. He could just tell by the look on Adam's face what had gone down. "Shit..." He closed the distance between them and pulled Adam into a hug. Adam tried to pull away at first but when Jay didn't let go he just hugged him back, burying his face into his shoulder and letting out a choked sob.


	13. Chapter 13

Adam didn't see Jeff for three days after all that went down. He knew Jeff had his cell phone on him and he called and texted him about a million times. No answer was had though. On the first night, once it was realized that Jeff took off, stayed in constant contact with him as they tried to track him down. However, by the second night, they weren't answering his calls either. He had a feeling that Jeff had gotten a hold of him and had told them about what had happened. He couldn't confirm it of course, but the radio silence wasn't a good sign. He thought about going to Matt's house and seeing what was going on but he was too scared of how that would go. Jay went for him instead but found nobody at home when he did it. That worried him even more and he was such a wreck that Jay stayed with him all three days to try to keep him together. It was something Adam appreciated more than he could ever properly convey in words.

On the morning of the fourth day, Adam was woken up by the sound of something being knocked over downstairs. He sat straight up, looking over to see if Jay was still sleeping on the floor. He was still there, hugging his pillow and curled up in almost a fetal position. If they were both up there that meant there could only be one person downstairs. Swallowing hard, Adam threw off the covers and got out of bed. He smoothed down his hair and quickly threw on a fresh change of clothes. How he looked wasn't really important but fixing up his appearance was a way for him to stall. He knew he had to confront Jeff. He had wanted to get it over with. But that didn't stop him from being scared shitless to do it.

Once he looked semi presentable he took a deep breath and headed downstairs. Halfway down he could already see Jeff sitting on the couch in the living room. He had his hair pulled back, his elbows resting on his knees and his head bowed. He didn't even notice Adam until he stepped in through the doorway and cleared his throat. "Hey..." Adam felt totally lame for starting out that way but he didn't know what else to say.

"Hey..." Jeff's voice revealed it was just as awkward for him as it was for Adam.

Adam rubbed the back of his neck and walked more into the room, taking the seat that was right across from the couch. He almost sat down on the couch with Jeff but stopped himself. He figured he wasn't welcome on there. "I um...I guess we need to talk."

"Yeah." Jeff looked and sounded less than enthused about that statement. "We do."

That agreement was followed by a long, awkward silence. Adam opened his mouth several times, trying to figure out the best way to start. "I really am sorry," he finally said. "I know it's probably not worth much, but for what it is, I'm sorry."

Jeff nodded along, not looking very convinced. "You're right. It's not worth much right now." He pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long, sad sigh. "I just...I don't even know what to do. I've spent the last few days trying to figure it out and I've got jack fucking shit." He ran a hand through his hair, resting it on the back of his neck as he chewed on his lower lip. "I just...I thought we were happy." He put his hand back down and let out a bitter laugh. "I really thought we were happy."

Adam looked down at the floor guiltily. "I wanted to be...I don't really know when things started to change." He felt horrible for saying this but he felt like he had to. Might as well get it all out there. "I love you. I do. I just...I don't know. I started feeling like I was...trapped."

"Well gee I'm sorry our life together was THAT bad." Jeff did not take that statement well at all, which was to be expected. How could anyone take that statement well?

"No that's not...that's not what I meant." Adam shook his head vehemently to try to keep Jeff from speaking. "I just...it's me. I know we had a good life. I did. I just..I don't say trapped to blame you. I just felt like the spark was gone in my life. Like everything was just going by and I wasn't living. The world was moving around me and I-"

"So what, Randy made you feel that way?" Jeff's voice was a mix of anger and bitterness. "Randy made you feel alive? Randy fucking Orton could give you something I couldn't?"

"...I thought so at the time," Adam admitted.

"Do you love him?"

"No."

"Are you sure? I mean, you say you love me yet you did this so clearly you don't know what you're doing."

Adam cringed and ran a hand over his face. "I was WRONG Jeff. I was. I should have never done what I did. You deserve better I was trying to be better. I stopped seeing him so we can be happy."

"How did you expect to be happy by doing that?" Jeff asked. "Nothing changed. I thought we were happy. You didn't even TALK to me! You went around my back to sleep with someone else and then you agreed to marry me! To marry me of all things!" What was that going to do? Were you just going to marry me even though you felt that way?"

"I couldn't tell you," Adam insisted. "It would have hurt you."

"Well I'm not feeling so great now, am I?" Jeff yelled. He jumped back up to his feet and started pacing around. "You don't think I would have ever caught on to how you felt? Maybe I am blind but I wouldn't have been for forever. You really think marrying me would have solved anything?"

"No..." Adam admitted. "I just thought it would be easier." He sighed and rubbed his temples. Another long, awkward silence followed, neither one of them knowing what to say or do. Adam was trying to wait and see if Jeff would break it but he showed no signs of doing so. "What um...what are we going to do?"

"I...I think you need to go." After a pause that was the answer Jeff gave him. "I can't be with you. Not now. Not...maybe not ever again. I don't know."

Adam swallowed hard but nodded in acceptance anyway. He deserved nothing less. "I'll uh, ask Jay if I can stay with him."

"He upstairs?"

Adam nodded.

"Figured. I'll uh...I gotta go to Dad's for a bit. That should give you enough time to get your things."

"I don't know if I can find all of it..." It felt so weird saying these things. It hadn't truly sunk in that he was pretty much getting kicked out of his home. He knew he deserved it but it just hadn't all sunk in yet.

"I'll um...I'll get the rest out to you if I find it." Jeff shrugged and awkwardly put his hands in his pockets. "I um...yeah I really do gotta go." He didn't wait for Adam to say anything else. He just bailed, leaving Adam to sink down on his chair and bury his face in his hands. He didn't think he would ever forgive himself for making this mess. He really didn't.


End file.
